Applying Trinad Api in Relationships

Humility means we listen to understand the other person's heart

One of the most important life skills we can learn is how to listen.

Generally, when we think of communication, we think about getting our points across in a clear and succinct way. While this is important, an equally important and often more difficult skill is listening. Often, we listen superficially with the goal of skimming the main points from the speaker's words. We can be multi-tasking and still listen in this way. We can also be thinking about our response or mentally writing our grocery list while the other person is speaking.

Casual listening may be practical in several situations, such as getting the kids off to school, or cooking dinner. It can become a problem when we use this style of listening for much more complex and serious conversations. In such exchanges, one or both partners can feel misunderstood and undervalued. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and resentment.

Serious conversations require being fully present. We communicate our intention to be fully present by removing distractions, such as cell phones and computers, from our visual and auditory space. This action shows the other person ‘You are important to me. I care about your feelings and want to understand you.’

How does this kind of listening exemplify humility? Humility isn't threatened by different perceptions and ways of approaching the world. A humble state of mind doesn’t need to be right, or to prove anything to others.